I will control your mind!
Alex DeSimone - Graphic Designer, Artist, Gamer
A horse walked into a bar.
Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
Why are Asians bad drivers?
There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?
A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her?
Substance abuse and loneliness.
A platypus walks into a bar.
They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.
Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their
surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.
What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard?
Black berries.
Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack?
He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A horrible boating accident.
How did the black man cross the Atlantic?
He did not. He drowned
Why doesn’t Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin?
Because he’s dead.
Why did the black man buy 3 boxes of condoms?
Because he practices safe sex and they were on sale.
How did the fat guy survive the air crash?
He didn’t, he died like everyone else.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
Why was the black man good at basketball?
Because he practiced.
An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk.
The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.
